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Why did Simba become a great king? Because he had a roaring success at leadership!
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What do you call a Disney character who can sing but can't spell? Belle-idiot!
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I realized something about Disney movies - they've made me way more invested in the love lives of cartoon characters than my own. Go figure, I'm over here shipping Aladdin and Jasmine like it's my job!
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Disney taught me that if animals start talking, you don't question it, you start singing along. Can you imagine walking down the street and your cat's like, 'Hey, let's harmonize'?
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Disney movies give us these expectations about love. I mean, if my first date doesn't involve a magic carpet ride, I'm filing a complaint with Cupid.
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You ever notice how in Disney movies, the villains have the best real estate? I mean, Ursula's underwater lair looked more stylish than my apartment!
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Every time I watch a Disney movie, I'm like, 'Why can't my chores be as fun as the seven dwarfs'?' I'd happily clean if I had a song and dance routine!
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Disney movies, where all animals have better singing voices than most of us. Seriously, I'm over here croaking like a frog while Simba hits those high notes flawlessly.
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The most unrealistic thing about Disney movies? It's not the talking animals or magic. It's the fact that they've got these princesses waking up with perfect hair after sleeping for a hundred years. I wake up looking like a hedge!
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Disney movies: where animals talk, carpets fly, and people burst into song out of nowhere. If that happened in real life, I'd be booking tickets to that reality show!
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Watching a Disney movie is like signing up for an emotional rollercoaster. I go in expecting a cute story, and suddenly, BAM! My heart's shattered by the 'Circle of Life.'
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