4 Jokes For Dino

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Sep 01 2024

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You ever think about dinosaurs? I mean, those massive creatures that used to roam the Earth. I read somewhere that they had brains the size of walnuts. Now, that explains a lot, doesn't it? Imagine a T-Rex trying to do calculus. It's like, "Uh, is this the square root of... oops, I just stepped on a triceratops."
But seriously, what's the deal with naming them? Velociraptor? That sounds like a cross between a speedy lizard and a Terminator. I bet the other dinosaurs made fun of the Velociraptor at dino school. "Hey, speedy, slow down, we're just trying to graze in peace!
Dating is tough, right? But imagine if we had to deal with the dating struggles of dinosaurs. I bet T-Rex had a hard time finding a soulmate. "Swipe right? I can't even swipe with these tiny arms! And if I try to hug you, I might crush you!"
And then there's the pick-up lines. "Are you a meteor? Because you just rocked my world." I can't even imagine the dino Tinder bios. "Stegosaurus seeking a mate who can handle my spiked personality and doesn't mind a little tail in the relationship.
Dinosaurs must have had family drama too, right? I can picture a dino mom yelling at her dino kids, "If you don't clean up your nest, I swear I'll ground you for a millennium! And stop playing with that meteor, it's not a toy!"
And family reunions must have been awkward. "Oh, hey Aunt Pterodactyl, still flying high, I see. Uncle Triceratops, how's the horn? Still as sharp as ever?" I bet they had that one cousin who evolved into a bird and left the dino family WhatsApp group.
I was thinking about the dino diet. You know how everyone is into the paleo diet these days? Well, dinosaurs were the original paleo dieters. I mean, they were literally eating everything raw! No cooking, no seasoning—just raw, prehistoric cuisine.
Can you imagine a dino food critic? "Hmm, this triceratops tartare is a bit too gamey, and the sauropod sushi is a bit chewy." And don't get me started on the herbivores. "I'm on a plant-based diet, but these ferns are so last era. Do you have any organic, gluten-free palm fronds?

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