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We've all been in a situation where someone gives you a high-five, and you go for the fist bump. It's the universal language of "deux" socially awkward people trying to figure out how to interact without looking like idiots.
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You ever try to impress someone by ordering food in another language? I went to a French restaurant, and I was like, "I'll have the... uh... deux thing?" The waiter nodded like he understood, but I got a plate of escargot and a confused look.
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Speaking of faces, have you ever noticed how people take selfies? It's always from the same angle – deux inches above their heads. Are we all secretly auditioning for a role in a movie called "The Forehead Chronicles"?
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I recently got a new phone, and it's so fancy it can recognize my face. But you know what it can't recognize? My morning face. I'm there trying to unlock it, and it's like, "Sorry, we don't recognize this person until after deux cups of coffee.
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You ever see those shampoo bottles that claim to have "deux in one" benefits? I tried one, and now my hair smells like a tropical garden and my dandruff thinks it's on vacation. Talk about overachieving hair care!
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Have you ever been on a blind date, and they ask how many siblings you have? You're there like, "I have deux sisters." Suddenly, you sound like a fancy spy instead of a person with a brother and a sister.
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You ever notice how elevators have that button for the second floor, and it's just labeled "2" like it's some secret code? I mean, who are we fooling? It's not Area 51; it's the cookie aisle!
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Relationships are like "deux"-way streets. You've got to communicate, compromise, and occasionally pretend you don't notice your partner's weird habits. Like, yeah, I see you eating cereal for dinner again, but hey, love is a beautiful thing.
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So, "deux" is French for two, right? Classy. But you know what's not classy? My toaster. It has settings from 1 to 7, but it's like playing Russian roulette with my breakfast. I'm just hoping for a perfect "deux" (2), not a charcoal briquette!
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