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Deployed soldiers have a unique sense of time. They've mastered the art of counting days in a way that makes my attempts at setting the microwave clock look like advanced calculus. "Is it Tuesday or Friday?" becomes a philosophical question for them.
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I was chatting with a deployed soldier, and he mentioned their makeshift gym. I was picturing dumbbells made from sandbags and a pull-up bar fashioned from a tree branch. Meanwhile, I complain about not having time to go to my air-conditioned gym.
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Have you ever seen how organized soldiers are with their gear? They can pack a bag like it's a game of Tetris. Meanwhile, I struggle to close my suitcase for a weekend trip, and it looks like it's about to explode. Maybe I should enlist for some packing boot camp.
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Have you ever noticed how soldiers overseas become experts at finding creative uses for MREs (Meals Ready-to-Eat)? I mean, they can turn a bland, vacuum-sealed pouch into a gourmet masterpiece. I can't even make a decent sandwich, and they're out there turning powdered eggs into a culinary delight.
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I recently learned that soldiers overseas have to deal with sandstorms. Sandstorms! I can barely handle a dust bunny in my living room without freaking out. These guys are out there, playing real-life Jumanji, and we're complaining about pollen levels.
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One thing I've noticed about deployed soldiers is their ability to make friends with local animals. I mean, if you can befriend a stray cat in a war-torn region, you deserve a medal just for diplomacy. Meanwhile, I struggle to get my neighbor's dog to stop barking every time I walk past.
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You know you're talking to a deployed soldier when they can fix anything with duct tape. I asked my friend how he repaired a broken chair, and he said, "Simple, just like fixing a tank, but on a smaller scale." Well, excuse me, Mr. MacGyver!
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You know you're in a military family when acronyms become a second language. I asked my friend, a soldier, about his day, and he responded with a string of letters that sounded like he was auditioning for a rap career. I felt like I needed a decoder ring just to understand what happened at the base.
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You know you're close to a deployed soldier when acronyms start infiltrating your everyday language. I caught myself saying things like, "BRB, gotta grab some coffee ASAP before the meeting EOD." My coworkers looked at me like I was speaking in code. Little did they know, I was just embracing my inner soldier.
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Deployed soldiers have the best poker faces. You can't beat them in a game; they've mastered the art of not giving anything away. They've been trained to keep secrets, and trust me, if they can keep a straight face in the middle of a war zone, bluffing at a poker table is child's play.
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