bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
I've accepted the fact that I'm a degenerate gamer. My idea of a workout is lifting the TV remote to switch between gaming consoles. I mean, who needs the gym when you have a virtual world to conquer? I've probably logged more hours in front of a screen than I have in the sun. And don't get me started on in-game purchases. I spend more money on virtual outfits for my character than I do on actual clothes for myself. My character has a better wardrobe than I do in real life. If only there were a job where I could get paid for dressing my virtual self.
I recently tried explaining my gaming achievements to my non-gamer friends, and they looked at me like I was speaking a different language. "You defeated the dragon? What about defeating your laziness?" they said. Well, sorry, but defeating a dragon requires way more skill.
But you know, being a degenerate gamer has its advantages. I've developed lightning-fast reflexes from dodging responsibilities. If only I could use those skills in a job interview. "Tell us about a challenging situation you've faced." Well, there was this one time in a virtual world...
0
0
You know, I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day, and I thought, "Wow, I've really embraced the degenerate lifestyle." I mean, most people have hobbies like gardening or reading, but not me. No, my hobby is seeing how many pizza rolls I can fit in my mouth at once. It's a talent, really. And it's not just the food. I've become a professional at finding the comfiest spots on the couch. I've spent more time perfecting my butt groove than I have on my career. My couch has seen more of me than my therapist has, and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
But you know, being a degenerate has its perks. Like, I've mastered the art of procrastination. I'm so good at it that I can procrastinate from procrastinating. It's like I have a PhD in avoiding responsibility. If only there were a job where that was a requirement.
So yeah, I'm a degenerate, but I like to think of it as a unique lifestyle choice. I'm not lazy; I'm just energy efficient. And if anyone calls me a degenerate, I'll just tell them I'm embracing my inner rebel. Because why conform to societal norms when you can have another bag of chips and call it a day?
0
0
I have a confession to make—I'm a degenerate shopper. My idea of a successful shopping trip is finding the checkout line with the shortest wait time. If I can avoid eye contact with the cashier, it's a win in my book. And online shopping? It's like a degenerate's dream come true. I can buy things without even leaving my couch. The delivery person knows me by name now. They show up with a package, and I'm like, "Ah, my impulse decisions have arrived."
But the real struggle is grocery shopping. I go in with a list, and I come out with snacks and frozen pizza. It's like I have a magnetic attraction to the junk food aisle. I tell myself, "I need fruits and vegetables," but my cart ends up looking like a shrine to processed foods.
And don't even get me started on Black Friday. I'm not there for the deals; I'm there for the chaos. It's like a degenerate's version of the Hunger Games. May the odds be ever in your favor as you fight for that discounted toaster.
So yeah, I'm a degenerate shopper, but at least I keep the economy going, one impulse buy at a time. Who needs financial stability when you can have a closet full of things you didn't need?
0
0
You ever try dating as a degenerate? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but the haystack is made of empty beer cans and pizza boxes. I mean, my idea of a romantic dinner is ordering takeout and arguing over who gets the last slice of pizza. If that's not love, I don't know what is. And let's talk about the dating apps. They ask for your interests, and I'm just there like, "Is binge-watching TV shows and avoiding responsibilities an interest?" Because that's all I got. I swipe right on someone, and they ask, "What's your idea of a perfect date?" Well, it definitely involves a couch, a TV remote, and no expectations.
I tried going on a fancy dinner date once. You know, the kind where you have to use utensils and stuff. I felt like an alien trying to navigate through human customs. The waiter handed me a menu, and I was like, "Do you have anything with cheese in a can?" Needless to say, there wasn't a second date.
But hey, if you're into degenerates, I'm your guy. I may not have a savings account, but I can tell you which fast-food place has the best dollar menu. It's all about priorities, right?
Post a Comment