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You ever notice how going to a car dealership is like entering a parallel universe where people pretend to be your best friend just to sell you a car? "Oh, you like breathing? Our latest model comes with an exclusive air intake system!
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Ever notice how the complimentary coffee at a dealership always tastes suspiciously like regret and high-interest rates? It's like they brew it with the tears of people realizing they should have taken public transportation.
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Why is negotiating the price at a car dealership like playing a game of chess with someone who wrote the rulebook? "Ah, you've activated my 'let me talk to my manager' trap card!
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You ever notice how the excitement of getting a new car fades as soon as you see that first monthly payment? It's like buying happiness on an installment plan – welcome to adulthood, where joy comes with interest!
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Walking into a car dealership is like entering a showroom of dreams where every car is equipped with features you never knew you needed. "Yes, I absolutely need a heated steering wheel in the scorching summer, thank you!
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Why do car salesmen always look at you like you're making the biggest life decision by choosing a car color? I'm just trying to decide between "Midnight Black" and "Moonlight Blue," not picking my Hogwarts house.
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Car dealerships should come with a warning: "Objects in the rearview mirror may appear cheaper than they actually are." It's like they have a magic mirror that reflects a discounted version of reality.
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Car salesmen have this amazing talent for making you feel guilty for not buying the top-of-the-line model. "Oh, you don't want the platinum edition with diamond-studded cup holders? Are you sure you're ready for adulting?
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Ever notice how the test drive is the only time a car feels like it's straight out of a Hollywood action movie? Once you sign the papers, it transforms into a silent, four-wheeled ninja.
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