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Fishermen always talk about the one that got away. I think that's just their way of dealing with the guilt of catching a fish and realizing it had big dreams of being a deep-sea philosopher. "Sorry, Nemo, but you're destined for the frying pan.
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Fish tanks in doctor's offices are the waiting room for fish. Imagine being a fish and seeing your buddy get scooped up and carried out, and you're left there wondering, "Am I next? Is this the end?
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I went fishing the other day, and after hours of waiting, I finally caught something. But it wasn't a fish; it was my enthusiasm slowly dying. I swear, even the fish were looking at me like, "Bro, get a life.
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You know you're an adult when you start buying frozen fish at the supermarket because the idea of dealing with a live fish feels too much like adulting. "I'll take the pre-packaged existential crisis, thank you.
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Dead fish are the overachievers of the aquatic world. They manage to make the ocean, this vast expanse of life and energy, seem like one big underwater retirement home. "Yeah, I'm just here to float and chill, maybe scare a snorkeler or two.
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Cleaning a dead fish is like playing a messed-up game of Operation. One wrong move, and suddenly you're the Dr. Frankenstein of the seafood aisle. "It's alive... oh, wait, no, it's not.
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The fish market is the only place where the phrase "sleeping with the fishes" is taken literally. If you're a heavy sleeper, it might be the perfect spot for you.
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You ever notice how when you buy a fish at the store, it's all lively and swimming around? You take it home, and suddenly it's doing its best impression of a gourmet meal – completely lifeless. It's like, "Did I just adopt a pet or order sushi?
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Dead fish have this mysterious ability to make any room smell like the ocean – if the ocean were a combination of sadness and regret. It's like they bring a little bit of underwater drama to your kitchen.
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