4 Jokes For Dead Celebrity

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Nov 20 2024

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You know, they say celebrities never really die, they just become legends. But have you ever thought about the afterlife for these guys? I mean, imagine being a ghost and still having to deal with the paparazzi.
I was thinking the other day, what if Elvis is out there haunting some random karaoke bar, just shaking his head every time someone tries to do a poor rendition of "Hound Dog"? I mean, that's enough to scare any ghost away.
And you know, he's probably getting competitive with other celebrity ghosts. I can just imagine Michael Jackson moonwalking through a cemetery, challenging Elvis to a dance-off. It's like the afterlife version of "Dancing with the Stars," but with way more sequins.
So, I was thinking about the real estate market in the afterlife. I mean, where do dead celebrities live? Is there a ghostly Beverly Hills? I bet the ghost of Liberace has the most fabulous haunted mansion you've ever seen, complete with sparkly chandeliers that glow in the dark.
And I can imagine the ghost of Steve Jobs haunting an Apple Store in the afterlife, trying to convince other ghosts to upgrade their spectral devices. "You need the new iGhost Pro, it's got a retina display for your transparent selfies."
I just hope the ghost of Shakespeare isn't stuck in some haunted apartment, still trying to write ghostly sonnets. "To boo or not to boo, that is the question." The afterlife real estate game is tough, even for the dearly departed.
You know, they say the Hollywood Walk of Fame is haunted. I mean, with all those stars, it's like a ghost's version of a red carpet. But imagine being a ghost and having to deal with tourists stepping all over your name. That's like a posthumous facepalm.
I can just picture a ghostly celebrity complaining, "I spent my whole life trying to make it in Hollywood, and now I'm stuck here watching people spill their hot dog mustard on my star. It's a tough afterlife, folks."
And don't get me started on the ghost of the guy who invented the Hollywood sign. He's probably haunting people's dreams, rearranging the letters to spell out ghostly messages like "Boo-wood" or "I'm still here!
So, I heard there's a support group in the afterlife for dead celebrities. Can you imagine what that's like? You've got Marilyn Monroe complaining about how people still can't let her rest in peace because they keep arguing about who really killed her.
And then you've got Kurt Cobain in the corner, trying to organize a Nirvana reunion tour with other ghost band members. I mean, talk about a ghostly jam session. The acoustics in the afterlife must be killer.
I bet in that group therapy session, there's always that one guy who claims to be Elvis but no one believes him. I mean, how many Elvis impersonators do you think there are in the afterlife? It's a tough crowd, even in the great beyond.

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