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The afterlife must have Wi-Fi because these dead celebrities keep trending on Twitter. Meanwhile, I struggle to get a retweet from my mom. Maybe I should start haunting social media platforms.
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Dead celebrities are like the ultimate influencers. They don't need to post a selfie with a product to sell it. Just drop a song or a movie, and people are like, "Take my money!" I can barely get people to like my cat videos.
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It's wild how some celebrities become more popular after death. If that's the secret, I'm considering faking my own demise just to see if I can sell more tickets. "Surprise! I'm not dead, but thanks for the sold-out shows!
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Dead celebrities have the ultimate comeback game. They release more material from the grave than I do in a year. If I had half their work ethic, I'd have my own comedy cemetery by now.
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Ever notice how people react to a dead celebrity like they just lost a family member? "Oh no, not them!" I'm waiting for the day someone reacts to my jokes like that. "Did you hear? The punchline died. Rest in laughter.
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I realized the only way I'm getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is if I trip over one while taking a selfie. Dead celebrities have it easy; they get the whole sidewalk. I'm just hoping for a square foot.
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You know you've made it in Hollywood when you're so famous that even death can't slow down your career. I'm over here struggling to get a callback, and these celebrities are getting posthumous awards. Maybe I need to die to boost my IMDb rating.
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You ever notice how dead celebrities always seem to have the best PR teams? I mean, some of them are more relevant now than when they were alive. If I die, I want their publicist to handle my legacy. "Remember that guy who told those jokes? Oh, he was a legend!
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I aspire to have a Wikipedia page that people argue about long after I'm gone. "No, he was definitely funnier than that other guy." It's like the afterlife version of a comedy roast.
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