10 Jokes For Dead Body

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jul 17 2024

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I was walking down the street the other day, and I saw a crime scene with the yellow tape and everything. I thought, "Wow, they really need to up their game on neighborhood watch meetings. I never got the memo about the 'Hide and Seek Championship.'
Have you ever tried to look casual when passing by a crime scene? It's like, "Oh, officer, I'm not suspicious; I just always stroll through alleys wearing my 'I Love Crime Scenes' T-shirt. It's a fashion statement!
You ever notice how crime scene investigators on TV always find a dead body in the most random places? Like, do criminals have a checklist? "Bank, check. Abandoned warehouse, check. Oh, let's spice it up - a yoga studio, double check!
Fun fact – crime scene investigators have a 100% success rate in finding dead bodies. I can't even find my car keys half the time. Maybe they should hire them to locate my missing socks.
I was watching a crime documentary, and they said, "The body was found in a quiet neighborhood." Well, there goes my dream of living in a quiet neighborhood. I'll stick to the noisy ones – at least you know where you stand.
You ever notice how detectives in movies always find the most crucial clue right before the commercial break? I can't even find the TV remote in that time, let alone solve a murder mystery.
The other day, I accidentally stumbled upon a crime scene while on a jog. I thought about joining the investigation, but then I remembered I struggle to solve puzzles with fewer than 100 pieces.
I've come to the conclusion that my cat is training to be a crime scene investigator. Every time I drop something on the floor, he paws at it like, "Let me examine this potential crime scene for you, human.
You know you're an adult when your bedtime routine includes checking under the bed for monsters and inside the closet for...well, let's just say, it's not monsters anymore.
I tried to join a detective agency once, but they said I lacked experience. So, I started my own agency specializing in finding things I've misplaced. Turns out, it's just a really niche detective business.

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