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Joke Types
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Why did the damsel bring a pen to the dragon's lair? She wanted to draw her own conclusions!
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Why did the damsel bring a map to the castle? She wanted to find her way to knight school!
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What did the damsel say when her horse refused to gallop? 'Quit horsing around!
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What did the damsel say when she won the lottery? 'I guess I'm damsel-fortunate!
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Why did the damsel bring a sword to the bakery? In case she had to defend her knight's honor roll!
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Why did the damsel bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
Damsel Delivery Service
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I heard they're starting a new service called Damsel Delivery. It's like Uber, but for knights in a hurry. You order a damsel, and within 30 minutes, a knight shows up at your castle, rescues her, and earns five stars on the quest app.
Damsel and the Frog
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There's this new twist on the classic fairy tale – the damsel and the frog. The frog is like, Kiss me, and I'll turn into a prince. The damsel is like, Ew, no thanks. I'm an independent woman. I don't need a prince. But if you can turn into a Wi-Fi hotspot, we might talk.
Damsel Dilemmas
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You ever notice how in fairy tales, there's always a damsel in distress? I mean, how come damsels are always in distress? Maybe they just need a map app, you know? Hey Siri, how do I get out of this tower without waking up the dragon?
Damsel Self-Defense Classes
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Damsels are taking self-defense classes now. They're like, I don't need a knight; I need to know how to handle a dagger and a can of pepper spray. If a dragon comes, I'm ready. If a creepy wizard comes, I'm double ready!
Damsel's GPS Fail
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I heard about this damsel who got lost in the forest. She was like, I was following the breadcrumbs, but then my GPS said 'recalculating.' Next thing I know, I'm stuck in a gingerbread house with a witch. Thanks a lot, Siri!
Knight in Rusty Armor
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And what's the deal with knights in shining armor? I bet they spent more time polishing their armor than actually rescuing damsels. I can picture a knight saying, Hold on, fair maiden, let me check my reflection in the breastplate before I slay the dragon.
Damsel Dating Woes
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I tried dating a damsel once, but it was tough. Every time I tried to open the car door for her, she was like, I can slay my own dragons, thank you very much. I don't need a man opening doors for me. So now I just stand there awkwardly while she wrestles with the door handle.
Modern Damsels
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Damsels these days are not what they used to be. I mean, have you seen them wielding swords and fighting off evil wizards? It's like, Move over, Prince Charming, I got this. I'm a damsel in shining armor, and I don't need a man to save me. I need a good Wi-Fi signal.
Damsel Job Fair
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I went to a damsel job fair the other day. They had booths for tower security, dragon negotiation, and hair care for distressed damsels. I thought about applying, but my shining armor was at the dry cleaners.
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