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Have you ever noticed that the damsel in distress never has a plan B? If I were stuck, I'd be drafting my escape plan on the back of a napkin.
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The damsel in distress is always so delicate and dainty. If it were me, I'd probably be trying to break down the door myself, yelling, "Move, I've got places to be!
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You know, the whole idea of a damsel in distress is a bit overrated. I mean, if a dragon is attacking, I'd rather be the warrior fighting alongside the hero than waiting to be rescued.
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Have you noticed how in every classic story, there's always a damsel in distress waiting to be saved? Nowadays, that damsel would probably text the hero, "Hey, I'm locked out of my apartment, can you bring the spare keys?
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You ever notice in movies, the damsel in distress always has perfect hair and makeup, even after being captured for days? I mean, if I were trapped somewhere, I'd at least hope for a hair tie!
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You know, in these old tales, the prince always saves the damsel. But in reality, the damsel would just say, "Thanks for slaying the dragon, but can you help with the dishes too?
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Imagine if the damsel in distress just left a Post-it note on the tower saying, "Gone out for groceries, back in 20 minutes. Please don't let the dragon in.
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You know, I was reading this old fairy tale the other day. It hit me that the concept of a damsel in distress is outdated. I mean, come on, in today's world, if a damsel's in distress, she's probably just waiting for the Wi-Fi to come back on!
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I think the whole "damsel in distress" trope needs an upgrade. Instead of waiting in a tower, Rapunzel would probably just order a ladder on Amazon Prime.
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