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I've realized something about myself recently. I'm a damsel in distress when it comes to assembling furniture. Seriously, those instruction manuals might as well be hieroglyphics. I've got screws left over, pieces upside down, and suddenly my bookshelf looks like modern art. But the real distress comes when you're almost done and you realize you've got a crucial piece backward. Cue the dramatic music, the facepalm moment, and the internal monologue, "Will I ever get this right or am I destined to live in a room full of half-built furniture forever?
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You ever notice how in movies, the damsel in distress is always waiting for some hero to come save her? I mean, come on! It's 2023, ladies! We don't need a knight in shining armor; we've got Uber Eats and Amazon Prime! But seriously, this whole concept of the damsel in distress needs an update. Like, forget waiting for a prince, these damsels need a reality check. "Hello, yes, this is Damsel Inc. I'd like to order a pizza and while you're at it, can you rescue me from this pile of laundry?
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We've all got a little damsel in distress in us, don't we? I mean, have you ever seen a group of friends trying to split a bill at a restaurant? Suddenly, everyone's math skills are in distress. "Wait, I had the side salad, a sip of your soda, and a fry... so that's like $3.75, right?" And then there's online shopping. You find this amazing deal, but the shipping cost makes you feel like you're the one in distress. "I just wanted a cute sweater, not a heart attack from the shipping fee!
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You know, the term "damsel in distress" always cracks me up. Like, who came up with that? It's like this lady's just minding her own business, maybe reading a book or sipping a latte, and suddenly she's in distress. Like, "Oh no, my latte's too cold, I'm a damsel in distress!" But then, I started thinking, maybe we're all damsels in distress in our own way. I mean, have you seen someone trying to parallel park? That's a damsel in distress right there. Arms flailing, sweat dripping, cars honking... it's like a modern-day knight needs to swoop in and save the day.
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