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You ever have a crush and think, "Hey, maybe I'll impress them with my amazing texting skills!" Yeah, well, I tried that. You know, you start with the basics: "Hey, what's up?" Smooth, right? But then, you enter this texting minefield. It's like, "Do I use a smiley face or is that too forward? Is 'LOL' too casual for this moment?" Before you know it, you're consulting a text etiquette manual. And let's not even talk about the stress of waiting for that little "typing" bubble to appear. It's like the digital version of watching a pot boil. If you're not careful, you'll end up in a Shakespearean tragedy, where the only thing dying is your chances with your crush.
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You ever try to impress your crush with your intelligence over text, only to be sabotaged by autocorrect? It's like my phone has a mind of its own, playing a cruel game of predictive text sabotage. I once wanted to say, "I think you're amazing," but thanks to autocorrect, it became, "I stink you're Amazon." Yeah, that's a real confidence booster. Now, instead of being smooth, I sound like a malfunctioning robot. Autocorrect, my wingman? More like my wing-fail.
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You ever get so invested in a text conversation with your crush that you start planning your future together, only for them to suddenly disappear like a magician's assistant in a smoke-filled room? It's the classic ghosting move. I call it the Houdini of love. One moment, you're sharing your deepest secrets, and the next, they're pulling a disappearing act that even David Blaine would envy. You start questioning everything. Did they receive my last text? Did I say something wrong? Maybe they're just stuck in a tunnel with no cell service. Yeah, that's it. They're not ghosting; they're spelunking without Wi-Fi. Love in the digital age, where disappearing acts are the new normal.
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Can we talk about emojis for a second? I mean, who would've thought that in the 21st century, we'd be using tiny, animated faces to express our deepest feelings? I recently found myself in a situation where I had a crush, and my emoji game was put to the test. I thought I was being cute with a simple heart emoji, but then I got paranoid. What if they read it as a friendly heart? Maybe I should have added the sparkle emoji for extra emphasis? Suddenly, my phone turned into a digital art canvas, and I was Picasso trying to paint the masterpiece of modern romance. Spoiler alert: I'm no Picasso.
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