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The Clueless Crush Boy
Missing every hint like a comedy of errors
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My friends told me she's dropping hints. I'm here waiting for a flashing neon sign that says, "She likes you!" Meanwhile, she's basically sending smoke signals, and I'm wondering if there's a barbecue nearby.
The Shy Crush Boy
Navigating the minefield of crush signals
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I tried the classic move of lending her my jacket when she looked cold. She took it and said, "Thanks, you're so warm." And I'm standing there thinking, "Is this a compliment or a weather report?
The Overanalyzing Crush Boy
Deciphering every text and emoji
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When she said "see you around," I spent the next week planning strategic encounters. Spoiler alert: strategic encounters are just creepy stalking with a fancier name.
The Friendzone Crush Boy
Being the best buddy while secretly heartbroken
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I gave her dating advice, and she said, "You're such a good friend." Translation: "You're so great at helping other guys; I just wish I could date someone like you." Ouch.
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