4 Jokes About Covid 19

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 09 2025

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You know, COVID-19 has been like that unexpected guest who shows up at your party and refuses to leave. At first, we thought it was just a weekend thing, you know, a short-term inconvenience. But no, COVID decided to set up camp in our lives like it's on a permanent vacation.
I mean, remember when the biggest concern was trying to find toilet paper? People were hoarding it like it was made of gold. I felt like I was participating in a real-life episode of "Survivor: Grocery Store Edition." I half-expected Jeff Probst to jump out from behind the cereal aisle, telling me I'd been voted off because I chose crunchy peanut butter instead of creamy.
And let's talk about those Zoom meetings. Suddenly, everyone became a Hollywood director, setting up their cameras at the most flattering angles. It's like we're all living in our own little Truman Shows, but instead of an audience, it's just a bunch of coworkers judging your choice of pajama bottoms.
Wearing masks has become the new fashion statement. I've seen people coordinating their masks with their outfits, treating it like the hottest accessory of the season. Forget about handbags; it's all about the mask-bag coordination now. I saw a guy the other day with a camo mask. Dude, we're in a grocery store, not the jungles of Amazon!
And can we talk about the struggles of wearing glasses with masks? It's like trying to watch a 3D movie without the glasses – everything's blurry, and you feel like you're stumbling through life. I walked into a glass door the other day because I mistook it for an open entrance. My ego was shattered, and so was my perception of spatial awareness.
Remember when we all thought we'd become master chefs during quarantine? Yeah, that lasted for about a week. Suddenly, I had more burnt pans than successful meals. My kitchen looked like a crime scene from a failed cooking experiment. I tried making sourdough bread once, and it turned out more like a weapon than something you'd want to eat.
And the way everyone was sharing their culinary creations on social media – it was like a competition of who could make the most extravagant dish. Meanwhile, I'm over here proud that I managed to make instant noodles without burning the water.
Getting the vaccine felt like winning the lottery. I mean, I got more excited about that vaccine appointment than I did about my last birthday. And the side effects? They make you feel like you've just survived a night out with a group of college friends. "Oh, you're tired, achy, and maybe a bit feverish? Welcome to my post-vaccine party!"
But let's talk about those vaccine card selfies. It's become a badge of honor. People are flashing those cards like they just got VIP access to the coolest club in town. I'm waiting for someone to start a vaccine card trading market – "I'll trade you my Pfizer for your Moderna, straight up.

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