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The Thrifty Shopper
Discovering the price of a corduroy pillow in the bargain bin.
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Tried returning a corduroy pillow because it was uncomfortable. The store clerk said, "Sir, that's how you know it's working. It's tough love for your neck – cordu-royally screwing up your sleep.
The Practical Joker
Pranking someone with a corduroy pillow.
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Pranked my sister by swapping her regular pillow with a corduroy one. Now she thinks she's a detective because she woke up with "corduroy evidence" imprinted on her face. I'm just waiting for her to start solving the case of the missing socks.
The Fashionista
Incorporating a corduroy pillow into a stylish bedroom decor.
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My interior decorator suggested a corduroy pillow to add sophistication to my bedroom. Now I have sophistication, and every night I play a game called "Find the comfortable spot in this bed of rocks.
The Sleep Expert
Trying to find the perfect pillow for a good night's sleep.
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They say the texture of a corduroy pillow stimulates creativity. Well, let me tell you, my dreams have become so creative that now I'm considering hiring them as screenwriters for my next comedy special.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Believing that corduroy pillows are part of a secret government experiment.
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I heard the CIA developed corduroy pillows to distract us from the real issues. They want us arguing about pillow imprints while they're out there plotting something big. I'm onto you, government – I won't rest until I have a comfortable pillow and the truth!
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