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You know, being a college freshman is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture for the first time. You start with all the excitement and energy, thinking you've got it all figured out. But then, halfway through, you're left with a bunch of mismatched pieces, a confused look on your face, and the sinking feeling that you're in way over your head. I remember my first day on campus. I walked into a lecture hall, confidently sat in the front row, and realized I was in the wrong class. The professor was talking about advanced quantum physics, and I was still trying to master the art of doing laundry without turning all my whites into pinks.
And let's talk about dorm life. Living with a stranger is like playing Russian roulette with your personal space. You don't know if they're going to be the roommate who's allergic to showering or the one who thinks 3 AM is the perfect time for a drum solo.
But hey, being a freshman is a rite of passage. It's the only time in your life when eating ramen noodles for a week straight is considered a gourmet meal.
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You ever notice how college freshmen have a unique sense of style? It's like they raided a thrift store, a Halloween costume shop, and a neon sign factory, all at once. Back in my freshman days, I thought I was a fashion icon. I rocked the mismatched socks, the pajama pants to class, and a hoodie that screamed, "I have an exam in 10 minutes, and I just woke up."
And let's not forget the backpack situation. It's not just a bag; it's a survival kit. I had everything in there – from a three-ring binder to a bag of chips, because you never know when you might get hungry during a lecture on Shakespeare.
But the pinnacle of freshman fashion has to be the lanyard around the neck with your room key and student ID. It's like a badge of honor, saying, "I have no idea where I am, but at least I can get back into my dorm.
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College freshmen are like amateur philosophers. They have all the big questions about life, love, and the meaning of the universe. But instead of pondering these deep mysteries in a quiet library, they're doing it at 2 AM in the dorm hallway while waiting for the communal bathroom. I overheard a conversation between two freshmen the other day. One asked, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?" The other replied, "Bro, if I fail my philosophy class, does it make a difference?"
And let's not forget the late-night debates about the existence of aliens. I don't know about extraterrestrial life, but I do know that the odds of finding intelligent life in a 100-square-foot dorm room are pretty slim.
So, here's to you, college freshmen, the budding philosophers of our time. May your late-night debates be as entertaining as your attempts to do laundry for the first time.
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Can we talk about the so-called "Freshman 15"? I don't know who came up with that term, but they clearly never attended a college with a cafeteria that serves mystery meat and pizza every day. The only 15 I gained was the number of days it took for me to miss home-cooked meals. They say college is all about expanding your horizons, but I didn't think that included my waistline. The only exercise I got was running to class because I overslept, not because I joined a marathon club.
And the gym? Please. The only time I set foot in there was to take a shortcut to the pizza place next door. I thought about getting fit, but then I thought about the elevator to my dorm room and decided against it.
So, if you're worried about the Freshman 15, just remember: it's a myth. Unless you count the 15 pizza slices I had for dinner last night.
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