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Joke Types
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I asked the loan officer if I could use my dog as collateral. They said, 'Sure, as long as it's a 'bark'-terrier!
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What did the borrower say when asked about their collateral? 'It's not just assets; it's 'laugh-sets' too!
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What did the financial advisor say about the disappearing collateral? 'Looks like we've got an 'asset-traction' problem!
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I tried to make a joke about collateral, but it didn't have enough interest!
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I told my friend a collateral joke, but it went over their head – just like my credit limit!
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What did the business owner say when the collateral went missing? 'I guess it's time for some 'asset' management!
Wedding Wars
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Planning a wedding is a battlefield; they want your savings as collateral. I told my fiancée, If we're putting my savings on the line, we better have a 'dance like nobody's watching' clause. And by nobody, I mean the bank manager.
Technology Tantrums
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I bought a new phone, and they asked for my old one as collateral. I was like, Sure, take it. But be warned, that phone has seen my ugly cry face more times than my therapist. It's emotional collateral, treat it with care.
Parking Predicaments
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Parking tickets are the collateral of city living. I got one the other day, and I thought, Well, I guess my contribution to public infrastructure just went up. You're welcome, city planners. Enjoy fixing that pothole with my hard-earned collateral.
Collateral Damage
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You ever notice how life gives you collateral, but never a warranty? Like, I get into a relationship, and suddenly my Netflix queue becomes collateral damage. Honey, did you seriously watch five seasons without me? That's collateral emotional trauma right there!
Social Media Fallout
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Relationships nowadays come with social media as collateral. It's like, Congratulations, you're in love! Now hand over your Instagram password. Oh, you thought privacy was a thing? Welcome to the collateral damage of modern romance.
Fitness Finances
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Gyms always want a commitment and a credit card as collateral. I'm thinking, My commitment to fitness is as strong as my commitment to finishing that bag of chips I started last night. And you want my credit card? That's collateral damage waiting to happen.
Dieting Dilemmas
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I tried this new diet, and they said my favorite snacks were collateral damage. My snacks heard about it and staged a revolt in the pantry. I walked in, and the cookies were like, Think twice before giving up carbs, buddy. We've got emotional value!
Career Choices
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Job interviews are weird; they want your experience as collateral. I'm sitting there thinking, If my college GPA is the collateral for this job, we might need to reassess your expectations. 'Summa Cum Laude' in pizza ordering, maybe.
Parental Investments
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My parents always talked about their sacrifices for me as collateral for my success. I'm thinking, So, my bedtime stories were collateral for my ability to adult now? That explains my Pavlovian response to bedtime at 9 PM.
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