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The Borrower
Negotiating collateral terms
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The bank wanted my car as collateral. I said, "Sure, take it. But just a heads up, it's got a few quirks. The air conditioning only works when you're going downhill, and the radio only picks up polka stations. Good luck with that.
The Banker
Dealing with collateral
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I asked the banker, "What's the best collateral you've ever seen?" He said, "Someone once offered a spaceship as collateral." I'm thinking, "Did they think they were financing a trip to Mars or just needed some extra cash for a down payment on a UFO?
The Repo Agent
Retrieving collateral gone wrong
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I repossessed a car once, and the owner begged me not to take it because it was his home. I said, "Dude, you're living in your car. Maybe it's time to reconsider some life choices. And by the way, you left your toothbrush in the glove compartment.
The Financial Advisor
Explaining the importance of collateral to clients
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I had a client who wanted to use their cryptocurrency holdings as collateral. I said, "Sure, but just remember, the value of your collateral might drop faster than my motivation to go to the gym after New Year's.
The Bank's Perspective
Determining the worth of collateral
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Ever had someone offer a painting as collateral, claiming it's a masterpiece? I looked at it and thought, "This isn't art; it's a crime scene. Did the artist spill spaghetti on a canvas and call it 'abstract expressionism'?
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