4 Classmates Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 15 2024

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You know, I've been thinking about classmates lately. You ever notice how in school, there's always that one person who raises their hand for every question? I mean, seriously, are they trying to win a hand-raising championship? It's like they have a personal vendetta against gravity. I call them the "Human Flagpoles."
And then there's that guy who never raises his hand but somehow knows the answer to everything. You ask yourself, "Is he a genius or just a really good guesser?" I call him the "Silent Scholar," the James Bond of the classroom. He doesn't need to raise his hand; he just nods mysteriously like, "I knew that."
Ever had a classmate who borrowed your pen and never returned it? I'm convinced there's a pen underworld where all the missing pens gather and have a party. I imagine them sipping ink cocktails and dancing under a disco ball made of erasers.
Let's dive into the horror show that is group projects. You ever get assigned a group project and think, "This is it, my academic legacy is in the hands of people who can't even remember to bring a pencil"?
There's always that one classmate who disappears during group projects. You start thinking they've been abducted by aliens or joined a secret society that's against group collaboration. You send them a message like, "Hey, are you alive?" and they reply, "Sorry, I forgot we had a project. Can you catch me up?" Sure, let me summarize three weeks of work in a text message.
Let's talk about class clowns. You know, the ones who think they're stand-up comedians, but the only thing they're standing up for is a detention. I had this one classmate who tried to turn every lecture into a comedy show. He'd crack jokes in the middle of the teacher's explanation, and everyone would laugh nervously, like, "Should we be laughing? Is this allowed?"
And then there's the classic whoopee cushion prank. Who invented that thing? A genius or a future stand-up comedian, probably. I can just imagine the guy at the patent office trying to explain it: "It's a device that simulates flatulence for comedic effect." The clerk must have raised an eyebrow, like, "Why would anyone want that?" Little did they know, it would become a staple of classroom humor.
Let's talk about exams. Remember that one classmate who, no matter what, finishes the exam in record time? You're struggling through question two, and they're already packing up like they just completed a mission impossible. I call them the "Flash of Finals."
And then there's the person who brings an entire stationery shop to the exam. It's like they're preparing for a paper war. You can hear them unpacking pens, pencils, highlighters, rulers, and a calculator the size of a small laptop. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there with one pen, hoping it doesn't run out of ink before I finish writing my name.
So, in conclusion, classmates, you make school an unforgettable experience. Whether it's the human flagpoles, silent scholars, or the pen thieves, we're all in this academic circus together!

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