bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know, I’ve got this buddy, Clarence. Clarence is that friend who’s always giving advice, but it’s like advice from the 1800s. I asked him, "Hey Clarence, how do I impress a girl?" You know what he says? He goes, "Ah, lad, just bring her a well-mannered horse and a bushel of freshly picked apples." Like, dude, we’re in the 21st century, not in a Jane Austen novel! Clarence, you need an update. I can’t take his advice seriously. Last time he said, "To win a man’s heart, ye must write him a sonnet and challenge him to a duel." Yeah, that's fantastic, Clarence, let me just grab my quill and duel for love in this modern age!
0
0
Clarence thinks he’s a fashion guru. Yeah, he’s the kind of guy who wears a top hat and a monocle on a casual Tuesday. He said to me, "My dear chap, one must always dress for success." Then he hands me a powdered wig and a frock coat! Like, Clarence, I appreciate your commitment to vintage fashion, but I’m not trying to impress the queen at a tea party. I just want to go get a coffee without looking like I stepped out of a history book.
0
0
You ever have that one friend who’s perpetually stuck in the past? That’s my man Clarence. I mean, technology baffles him more than a Rubik’s Cube. I showed him my smartphone, and he’s like, "By the heavens! What sorcery is this? A device that fits in your hand and summons information? Preposterous!" Then he hands me a carrier pigeon and says, "This is the only reliable mode of communication, my friend." Sorry, Clarence, but I’m not sending tweets via carrier pigeon, I’ll stick to Wi-Fi, thanks.
0
0
I swear, Clarence should have been born in another era. I asked him for cooking tips, and he starts rumbling on about medieval feasts. He’s like, "Ah, to concoct a proper meal, thou must roast a boar and serve it with a side of mead!" Uh, Clarence, the only boar I know is Porky Pig, and he’s a cartoon! I’m not turning my kitchen into a Renaissance faire just to make dinner, Clarence, let’s stick to the microwave, shall we?
Post a Comment