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Clarence is the guy who brings a packed lunch to a buffet. He's standing there with his Tupperware, eyeing the endless options, thinking, "I'm just here for the ambiance." Dude, it's not a potluck – it's an all-you-can-eat extravaganza!
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Clarence is like the human version of autoplay on Netflix. You didn't ask for it, but suddenly he's there, offering unsolicited opinions on the plot twists of your life. "I've been binge-watching your choices, and I have some thoughts.
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I'm convinced Clarence is the reason we have warning labels on everything. You know, like "Do not use the hairdryer while sleeping." I can imagine him going, "Well, I was cold, and the hairdryer was warm. Who knew it could double as a blanket?
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You know, Clarence is the kind of guy who still uses a flip phone. He's convinced it's a relic from a golden age, like he's carrying around the last VHS tape ever produced. "Yeah, I just got the latest voicemail. It's on side B.
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I swear, Clarence has a superpower – he can make any casual conversation awkward. You'll be chatting about the weather, and suddenly he'll throw in, "Speaking of storms, did I ever tell you about my fungal infection?" Too much information, Clarence!
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Ever notice how Clarence always has a collection of napkins in his pockets? It's like he's preparing for a napkin shortage apocalypse. "You never know when you'll need to clean up a spill or start a mini paper towel business on the side.
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You ever notice how every office has a Clarence? That one guy who uses the office microwave to heat up fish, turning the breakroom into a maritime adventure. "Ahoy, mateys! Today's special: seafood surprise!
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You ever notice how Clarence is the only person who still prints out emails? It's like he's trying to keep the paper industry alive one unnecessary hard copy at a time. "I'll just file this in my 'Printed Emails' folder.
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You know Clarence, the guy who still writes checks at the grocery store? I'm convinced he thinks he's performing some ancient ritual. "Behold, the sacred art of check-writing. May the gods of commerce be pleased.
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