4 Jokes For Cheetah

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Sep 03 2024

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So, you ever think about speed dating? You know, where you meet a bunch of people in a short amount of time? Well, I've got an idea to take it up a notch. Cheetah speed dating. Yeah, you get 30 seconds with each person, and if you don't impress them, they can sprint away at cheetah speed. Imagine the rejection: "I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me... and the fact that I can outrun you like a cheetah!
Late-night TV is wild, right? I was watching a documentary about cheetahs the other night, and they said cheetahs can accelerate from 0 to 60 miles per hour in just a few seconds. I thought, "Wow, that's faster than my motivation to get out of bed in the morning!" Maybe if they had a cheetah as my alarm clock, I'd be up and ready to go. The snooze button would become the sprint button!
You know, I recently started going to the gym, trying to get in shape. But it's tough, you know? I look around, and there's always that one person who's sprinting on the treadmill like they're being chased by a cheetah. I mean, come on, buddy, is there a cheetah on the loose in the gym? Should I be worried? Maybe they're just training for the animal Olympics. I can see it now, the cheetah in the 100-meter dash, and this person standing next to it, exhausted, saying, "I've been preparing for this my whole life at the gym!
Let's talk about technology. Have you noticed how fast our devices have become? I mean, they're like cheetahs on steroids! My phone is faster than my internet at this point. And don't get me started on autocorrect. It's like having a cheetah proofreader, ready to sprint in and change your words before you even finish typing. I just hope one day autocorrect doesn't decide to replace "I love you" with "I cheetah you.

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