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You ever notice how a Catholic priest can make holy water with just a sprinkle of fingers? I tried that at home, and now my cat thinks it's possessed.
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You know you're at a Catholic event when the priest starts talking about miracles, and you're just hoping the miracle is that this sermon ends before your coffee gets cold.
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I asked a Catholic priest about his favorite type of music. He said, "Choirs." I guess he's not into heavy metal...unless it's the sound of incense hitting the censer.
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I recently attended a Catholic wedding, and I couldn't help but think, "Do they practice the 'I do' part during confession?" I mean, that's the real commitment, right?
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Catholic priests are like the original multitaskers. They can bless you, hear your confession, and still have time to give you a recipe for the perfect communion wafer.
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You ever notice how Catholic priests have mastered the art of speaking softly yet carrying a big candle? It's like they're giving a sermon, not summoning a ghost.
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I was at church the other day, and the priest was talking about humility. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "You're wearing a robe that rivals Dumbledore's, my friend. Humility might be in short supply up there.
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I saw a priest at the grocery store the other day, checking out the wine selection. I thought, "Is he preparing for a sermon or planning a Netflix and chill night with the Bible?
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Catholic priests have the ultimate poker faces. You could confess to stealing the communion wine, and they'd just nod like, "Yeah, water into wine – heard that one before.
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