Trending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
So, I'm hanging out with Carlo, and he goes, "Dude, I've got the best snacks at my place." I'm thinking, "Jackpot! This is gonna be a feast!" I get there, and Carlo pulls out a bag of kale chips. I'm sorry, but kale chips are not snacks; they're a cry for help. I felt like I was grazing in a field. I asked Carlo if he had anything else, and he goes, "Oh, yeah, I've got seaweed snacks too." Now, I'm not against being healthy, but I didn't sign up for a marine biology lesson.
I told him, "Carlo, next time, just hand me a bag of air. At least I won't feel deceived.
0
0
Carlo fancies himself a movie buff. He goes, "Dude, you gotta watch this movie; it's a masterpiece." So, I trust him, pop some popcorn, get comfy, and press play. And what does he recommend? A black-and-white silent film from the 1920s. I'm watching the screen, squinting my eyes, trying to figure out if that blurry shape is a person or just a smudge on the film. I turn to Carlo and say, "Is this a movie or a history lesson?
0
0
You know, I recently borrowed my buddy Carlo's car, and let me tell you, his GPS is like a rebellious teenager. It's got a mind of its own. I punch in the destination, and it's like, "You sure you wanna go there? I heard there's traffic, potholes, and maybe a dragon blocking the road." I'm just sitting there like, "Carlo, your GPS is acting like it's seen some things, man. Is it haunted or what?"
And don't even get me started on the voice. Carlo's got it set to the most judgmental voice possible. It's like having a disappointed grandma in the dashboard. "In 500 feet, you'll realize you should've listened to your mother and become a doctor.
0
0
Carlo is the king of social media, or at least he thinks he is. He's like, "Bro, you gotta curate your online presence strategically." So, I ask him for some tips, thinking he's got some secret formula for internet fame. He goes, "Post inspirational quotes, use deep captions, and always post at 3:47 AM for maximum impact." I tried it, and let me tell you, my inspirational quote at 3:47 AM got me one like—from my mom.
I said, "Carlo, your strategy is like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded. I need a GPS for my social media life, and not your haunted one!
Post a Comment