7 Cancer Patients Jokes

One Liners

Updated on: May 21 2025

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What did the cancer cell say to its therapist? 'I've got too many issues to cells with!
I told my friend, who's a cancer survivor, to reach for the stars. Now he's banned from the local observatory!
I told my friend with cancer to stay positive. Now they're magnetic and sticking to everything!
I suggested to my friend with cancer that they start a band. They're calling it 'The Chemo-sabes'!
I told my friend with cancer a joke about chemotherapy, but it went over their head. I guess it was over their hairline too!
I asked the doctor if laughter is the best medicine for cancer patients. He said, 'It can't hurt!' Well, unless you're recovering from abdominal surgery.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about cancer. They said no. So, I tumor it anyway!

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