5 Cancer Patients Jokes

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: May 21 2025

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Hospital Janitor

Trying to keep things clean in the midst of chaos
One patient asked if I could do something about the squeaky wheel on their bed. I told them, "I'm a janitor, not a mechanic. But I'll give it a try – turn over, and let's see if WD-40 is covered by your insurance.

Hospital Security Guard

Balancing vigilance with compassion
My boss told me to be compassionate. So now, instead of saying, "You can't go there," I say, "I totally understand your desire to explore uncharted territory, but we're going to need you to stay in the designated adventure zone.

Cancer Patient on a Quest for the Best Hospital Gown

The fashion struggle in the world of hospital gowns
I thought I found a designer gown – it had snaps instead of ties. Turns out, it was a pediatric gown. I felt like I was dressing up in a hospital-themed onesie.

Stand-Up Comedian Doing Hospital Shows

Finding the right balance between laughter and sensitivity
After the show, someone told me, "You really lifted their spirits." I think they meant the ones that were still attached.

Hospital Cafeteria Chef

Balancing taste and health for cancer patients
The chef said they're serving "heart-healthy" meals. I guess that means if your heart can handle the excitement of bland oatmeal, you're in for a treat.

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