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Tim Hortons drive-thrus in Canada are like a secret society. You roll up to the window, and they pass you a double-double and a secret handshake. It's the only place where you get caffeine and conspiracies in one cup.
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In Canada, we have snow days, not just for schools but for everything. You call your boss and go, "Hey, it's a snow day, eh? Can't come to work. Sorry, nature's orders." And they totally understand because, well, it's Canada.
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You know you're in Canada when someone gives you the "Canadian side-eye." It's like a regular side-eye, but with a hint of maple syrup and a sprinkle of politeness.
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Canadians are so friendly that if you accidentally step on someone's foot, they'll apologize for their foot being in the way. "Sorry for the inconvenience of my foot's presence, eh.
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In Canada, we have four seasons: winter, still winter, road construction, and hockey. I mean, who needs a calendar when you can just look out the window and see if someone's shoveling or playing hockey?
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Why do Canadians make excellent comedians? Because they've mastered the art of self-deprecating humor. I told a Canadian he was too modest, and he apologized for it.
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Canadian GPS systems are the most polite. Instead of saying, "Turn left in 500 feet," they go, "Hey, if it's not too much trouble, could you consider turning left up ahead, buddy?
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I asked a Canadian friend how they handle stress. They said, "Just take a deep breath and think about how sorry you'd be if you stressed out. It's like meditation, but more apologetic.
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You know you're in Canada when you ask for directions, and instead of saying, "Go straight," they say, "Just keep heading in that general, 'eh' direction.
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