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Moose Crossing Sign Maintenance Worker
Keeping moose away from the crossing signs
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I once tried putting up a detour sign for the moose, thinking they might appreciate a change of scenery. Well, turns out moose are not big fans of detours. They just stared at me like I was the crazy one.
Apology Expert
Apologizing for things that aren't your fault
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The other day, someone stepped on my foot, and I found myself saying sorry to them. It's like we have a sorry reflex – an involuntary reaction to any minor inconvenience. If Canada ever invades another country, we'll probably begin the declaration of war with, "Sorry, but we need this land, eh?
Hockey Coach
Handling over-enthusiastic hockey parents
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I had a parent approach me and say, "Coach, my son has the potential to be the next Wayne Gretzky." I said, "Sure, if Wayne Gretzky was more interested in picking daisies than scoring goals.
Maple Syrup Taster
Dealing with maple syrup enthusiasts
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Maple syrup aficionados are like wine connoisseurs, swirling their syrup in a glass, sniffing it as if it's a fine Bordeaux. I once overheard someone say, "This batch has hints of spring and a touch of Canadian patriotism." I didn't know syrup could be so complex – I thought it was just a pancake topping.
Tim Hortons Employee
Dealing with the diversity of coffee orders
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The other day, someone asked for a decaf soy latte with extra foam. I thought they were speaking a different language. I mean, who drinks decaf in Canada? That's like ordering a snow cone in the middle of a blizzard.
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