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Have you ever noticed how creative some folks get when it comes to asking for spare change? I saw this guy with a sign that said, "Will work for food." Fair enough, noble effort. But then there was another one that just said, "Why lie? It's for beer." At least he's honest, right? But the best one I saw was this guy who had a sign that said, "Bumvertising space for rent." I mean, talk about innovative marketing! He's turning his homelessness into a billboard! Imagine the possibilities: "This space could be yours for just a coffee and a doughnut!"
I guess in this gig economy, everyone's looking for a side hustle, even if it's renting out space on their cardboard sign.
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You ever have those days where you plan to be super productive, but somehow end up binge-watching a series, and suddenly it's midnight and you're like, "Well, there goes my day"? It's the art of bumming around, folks. You've got a whole checklist of things to do, but somehow, scrolling through cat memes becomes a high priority mission. I mean, I think we've all experienced the dangerous allure of the YouTube rabbit hole. One minute you're watching a tutorial on how to fix a leaky faucet, and three hours later, you're an expert on penguin fashion.
It's like our brains have this secret plan to sabotage our productivity by luring us into the Bermuda Triangle of procrastination. And you know what? Sometimes, I think we just have to embrace it. Call it a mental health day or an educational journey into the depths of the internet. As long as we don't call it "bumming around" when there's work to be done, right?
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You ever notice how the word "bum" can mean so many different things? I mean, seriously, it's like the Swiss Army knife of words. You've got your "bum" as in someone who's down on their luck, your "bum" as in your backside, and then there's the "bum" that's just hanging around doing nothing. It's like a linguistic chameleon, changing its meaning depending on the context. But you know what's even more confusing? The international variations of "bum." In the UK, it's a "bum." In Australia, it's a "bum." But then you go to some other countries and it's like, "Wait, what did you just call me?" Cultural translation fail, right?
And let's not even get started on the euphemisms! "Bum" becomes "derriere," "posterior," "tush," "keister," "booty"... it's like someone's trying to dress it up for a fancy dinner. Sorry, 'keister,' you're still just a bum in a tuxedo!
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You ever have that moment where you're sitting down and you're like, "Is it the chair that's uncomfortable or is it my bum?" It's a real mystery, folks. You start blaming the chair manufacturer, thinking they must've designed it for aliens with three butts or something. And then there's the eternal struggle of finding the perfect cushion. You've got memory foam, gel-filled, inflatable, orthopedic... I mean, how many options do we need for our derrières? It's like a whole section at the store dedicated to saving our seats.
But let me tell you, there's nothing worse than getting up from an uncomfortable seat and trying to act cool, pretending your legs falling asleep didn't just make you walk like a newborn giraffe.
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