bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
I told my friend I could make a bullet levitate. He asked, 'How?' I said, 'I've got connections!
0
0
What's a bullet's favorite game? Russian roulette – it's always up for a spin!
0
0
Why did the bullet bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to draw attention!
0
0
Why was the bullet always invited to parties? Because it always brought a bang!
0
0
What's a bullet's favorite type of music? Anything with a good shot beat!
0
0
What did the bullet say to the gun? I'll always follow you to the point!
The Trials of Online Dating
0
0
Online dating is like trying to find a needle in a haystack if that haystack were made of mostly questionable hay. I matched with someone recently, and their profile picture was a group shot. I felt like I was playing a game of 'Where's Waldo' with my potential soulmate. Spoiler alert: I never found Waldo.
Work-from-Home Dilemmas
0
0
Working from home sounds great until you realize you're the IT guy, the janitor, and the employee of the month, all rolled into one. I had a Zoom meeting, and my cat decided to show its backside to the entire team. I thought, Well, I guess Fluffy's a shareholder now.
Pet Peeves
0
0
I love animals, but my neighbor's dog barks all night. I've considered leaving it a note that says, Do you know you have a job interview at 8 am tomorrow? I mean, maybe it's just trying to prepare for the real world.
The Art of Parallel Parking
0
0
Parallel parking is an art form, and I am not an artist. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube, but the Cube is my car, and the colors are the swear words I use. I've mastered the art of driving around the block until I find a spot big enough to fit a spaceship.
Cooking Adventures
0
0
I attempted to cook a fancy meal the other day. The recipe said, Fold in gently. I didn't realize it was talking about the batter, not my hopes and dreams. My kitchen looked like a crime scene. If I wanted to fold in anything gently, I'd hire a butler named Jeeves, not follow a recipe.
Mysterious Sock Disappearances
0
0
I don't know where socks disappear to in the laundry, but I suspect there's a secret society of sock ninjas plotting against us. I imagine them in a laundromat dojo, practicing their stealth moves. If I ever find their hideout, there will be a mountain of mismatched socks as evidence.
The Misadventures of Grocery Shopping
0
0
You ever notice how grocery shopping turns into a battlefield? I mean, my shopping cart is like a tank, and those aisles are the war zones. You've got kids screaming, seniors drifting at a snail's pace, and don't even get me started on the mysterious spillages. It's like a Slip 'N Slide for adults. I call it the Gauntlet of Gruel.
Late-Night TV Watching
0
0
Late-night TV is a dangerous game, folks. You start with innocent channel surfing, and suddenly, you're four episodes deep into a show you didn't even know existed. My TV remote is an enabler, whispering, Just one more episode, like it's some kind of digital drug dealer. I'm not binge-watching; I'm in a committed relationship with my couch.
Fitness Fiascos
0
0
I joined a gym recently. They have this machine that's supposed to target your abs. It felt more like it was targeting my will to live. I spent 20 minutes on that thing, and all I got were sore muscles and a sudden desire for pizza. That machine is a scam, I tell ya.
Technology Woes
0
0
Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, right? Tell that to my GPS. It's like having a passive-aggressive backseat driver. In 500 feet, turn left. No, not here, the next left. Recalculating. I'm waiting for it to just give up and say, You're on your own, buddy.
Post a Comment