4 Brothers Birthday Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jan 11 2025

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Let's talk about birthday cakes. My brother insisted on having the biggest, most elaborate cake ever. So, we hire this professional cake maker who's like the Picasso of pastries. The cake arrives, and it's this towering masterpiece.
But here's the problem – no one knows how to cut it. I mean, do you start at the top with the fondant or at the bottom with the sponge? It's like trying to perform surgery on a work of art. We ended up with slices that looked like they'd been through a blender. Happy birthday, bro, here's your abstract cake.
You ever feel that pressure when it's your brother's birthday, and you have to come up with the perfect gift? I mean, I never know what to get him. Last year, I got him a self-help book. You know, something to improve his life. He looked at it and said, "Wow, thanks for the subtle hint, bro."
This year, I decided to get him a gift card. I thought, "Hey, he can choose whatever he wants." But then he opens it, and he's like, "A gift card? Really?" Now, I'm thinking, "You can't win with this guy. Next year, I'm just giving him a rock and telling him it's a pet.
You know, my brother recently had a birthday, and he's one of those guys who takes his birthday way too seriously. I mean, he starts planning the celebration months in advance. It's like he's preparing for a military operation or something. He even created a PowerPoint presentation for the party schedule. Who does that?
So, he sends out these fancy invitations with a dress code. I'm like, "Bro, it's a backyard barbecue, not the Oscars." He insisted on a theme, and the theme was "Medieval Fantasy." I showed up in jeans and a T-shirt, and he's there dressed like a knight. I thought we were having burgers, not jousting matches!
At the birthday party, there's always that moment when someone decides to give a speech. My brother volunteered me for this duty. I get up there, ready to deliver a heartfelt speech, and he hands me a script. A script! Who writes a script for a family birthday party?
I start reading, and it's all about his achievements, his qualities, and how he's the best brother in the world. I'm like, "Dude, can I add a joke or two?" He says, "No, stick to the script." So, I'm up there reading this Oscar-worthy speech, and everyone's looking at me like I've lost my mind. Next year, I'm just gonna hire a stand-up comedian. Oh, wait, that's me!

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