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On my brother's birthday, we all pretend to be morning people. It's like, "Happy birthday! Rise and shine! Here's your breakfast in bed... that I hastily put together because I forgot to set the alarm.
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Ever notice how singing "Happy Birthday" is the only time when everyone in the family is in sync? You're all awkwardly staring at the cake, trying to remember the cousin's name you haven't seen since last year, and then suddenly, it's like a choir of tone-deaf angels.
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Ever notice how on your brother's birthday, everyone becomes a photographer? It's like the paparazzi descended upon your living room. "Wait, let's get a shot of him blowing out the candles from every possible angle. This will be great for the family album... or for embarrassing him later.
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My brother insists on having a "low-key" birthday celebration. Translation: he wants a celebration that involves at least three surprise elements and a cake big enough to feed a small village. Low-key, indeed.
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Trying to pick the perfect birthday card for your brother is like solving a puzzle. It needs to be sentimental but not too mushy, funny but not offensive, and, most importantly, it should have a picture of a cat wearing sunglasses because, apparently, that's hilarious.
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Birthdays are the only time when your brother becomes a temporary life coach. He'll be like, "You know, another year older, another year wiser." Meanwhile, he's still trying to figure out how to assemble IKEA furniture without the manual.
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Brothers have a magical ability to disappear on their birthdays. You're all set for a family dinner, and suddenly he's MIA. You send out a search party, and there he is, hiding in the basement playing video games like it's a national holiday for gamers.
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Brothers and birthdays are like peanut butter and jelly – they stick together, and sometimes, it gets a bit messy. You plan this amazing surprise party, and he walks in like, "Oh, did you guys forget my birthday again this year?
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You ever notice how when it's your brother's birthday, suddenly everyone in the family becomes a gourmet chef? It's like, "Oh, you can't cook microwave popcorn on a regular day, but today, you're presenting a three-course meal with a side of 'I hope you like it' anxiety.
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