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I asked my boyfriend what his favorite Tagalog word was. He said it was "ngiti," which means smile. Now, every time he's grumpy, I just shout "ngiti" at him. It's like my magical spell to ward off the gloominess. I think he secretly appreciates it, though he might be plotting to change the locks.
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I tried to surprise my boyfriend with a love letter in Tagalog. I wrote it, sealed it with a kiss, and handed it to him. He opened it, read it, and then looked at me and said, "Is this a breakup letter?" Note to self: Google Translate does not understand the nuances of romantic expression.
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I decided to surprise my boyfriend with a homemade Tagalog coupon book. You know, coupons for "one free hug" and "breakfast in bed." He looked through it and said, "Do you have one for 'teach me how to understand your coupons'?" Well, there goes my attempt at being the coupon queen of romance.
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I thought it would be cute to learn a Tagalog love song to serenade my boyfriend. Let's just say, my attempt sounded more like a cat being serenaded by a banshee. It's the thought that counts, right? At least he smiled, possibly out of relief that the singing stopped.
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I tried the whole "cooking to make him smile" thing. I made a Filipino dish, and when he took a bite, he looked at me and said, "Is this adobo or a cry for help?" Turns out, making someone smile with food is a delicate dance between flavor and emergency services.
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You know you're in deep when you're Googling "romantic Tagalog jokes to make him smile." I found one that said, "Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mananalo ba ako? Hindi, kasi lagi kitang mamimiss." Translation: "If you were a ball and I were the player, would I win? No, because I'll always miss you." I tried it, and he just asked if we could watch a basketball game instead.
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I decided to send my boyfriend a sweet text in Tagalog. I used Google Translate, thinking it was foolproof. I wrote, "Ang ganda mo," which is supposed to mean "You're beautiful." Well, turns out it translates to "You are a mirror." Smooth, real smooth. Now he's convinced I'm into inanimate objects.
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You ever try to impress your boyfriend and decide to learn a new language? My boyfriend asked me to make him smile in Tagalog, so now I'm just walking around the house saying "Kumusta ka, mahal?" Translation: "How are you, my love?" Well, he's smiling, but I'm pretty sure he's just confused.
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I tried the whole "make him smile in Tagalog" thing while we were at a family gathering. I stood up and confidently said, "Mahal kita, babe!" My boyfriend's grandma just looked at me and whispered to him, "Is she trying to cast a love spell?" Well, Grandma, if it works, it works.
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