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Why did Blaine bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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I told Blaine he should start a bakery. He's really good at rolling with the dough!
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Why did Blaine become a gardener? He wanted to improve his plant-blaine skills!
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Why did Blaine bring a ladder to the comedy club? He heard the jokes were over his head!
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Blaine tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was just a waist of time!
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Why did Blaine become a detective? He was always good at solving 'blaine' cases!
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Why did Blaine bring a mirror to the party? He wanted to show everyone a reflection of 'blaine' fun!
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Why did Blaine bring a map to the restaurant? He wanted to find his way to the 'blaine' course!
Blaine's Cosmic Wisdom
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Blaine's into astrology, you know, reading horoscopes and all that jazz. I asked him what my sign says about me, and he goes, You're a cosmic jellyfish navigating the ocean of existence. I didn't know whether to be flattered or offended, but hey, at least I'm a celestial jellyfish, right?
Blaine's DIY Disasters
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Blaine's attempt at home improvement is like a horror movie, but with power tools. He said, I'm installing a ceiling fan. I walk in, and there's a fan on the floor, the ceiling has a hole in it, and he's staring at it like he just discovered a new dimension. Blaine's version of DIY is more like Destroy It Yourself.
Blaine's Kitchen Catastrophes
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So, Blaine fancies himself a chef, right? He invited me over for dinner, and I thought, This is great, free food! Little did I know, he'd invented a new culinary art form – disaster cuisine. I asked him what the dish was called, and he said, Chaos Casserole. It tasted like a mix of confusion and regret.
Blaine's Fitness Fantasy
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Blaine recently told me he's on a mission to achieve the perfect dad bod. I was like, Blaine, that ship sailed years ago. But he's committed, you know? He's got a whole workout routine: one push-up every hour, on the hour. At this rate, he'll have the dad bod by the time his great-grandkids are complaining about their intergalactic homework.
Blaine's Lost in Translation
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Blaine's got this unique talent for turning the simplest phrases into something utterly confusing. I asked him how his day was, and he goes, It was like juggling flamingos in a hurricane. I didn't even know flamingo juggling was a thing, but leave it to Blaine to make it sound like a typical Tuesday.
The Enigma of Blaine
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You ever meet someone named Blaine? Sounds like a guy who's permanently stuck in the '80s, right? Like, Hey, Blaine, did you just step out of a John Hughes movie? I half-expect him to break into a spontaneous dance routine every time he enters a room. But no, Blaine is just there, defying the laws of time and fashion.
Blaine's Zen Zone
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Blaine claims to have found inner peace by practicing meditation. I asked him for some tips, and he said, Picture yourself as a serene mountain. I tried it, but all I could think about was how that mountain probably has Wi-Fi and a better cell signal than my apartment. Blaine's idea of tranquility is basically Everest with better internet.
The Blaine Conundrum
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I've got this friend, Blaine, who claims to be an expert in everything. You know those people, right? The ones who think they know it all? So, I asked Blaine, What's the secret to happiness? And he goes, Oh, it's simple, my friend. You just have to own a llama farm in the Himalayas. I mean, who knew llamas were the key to eternal bliss? Move over, self-help gurus, Blaine's got the llama connection.
Blaine's Political Puzzles
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Blaine's understanding of politics is like a choose-your-own-adventure book written by Dr. Seuss. I asked him about his political views, and he said, I'm part of the Sandwich Party. I thought maybe it's a new political movement, but no, Blaine just really loves sandwiches. I guess we can all agree on the importance of a good pastrami.
The Blaine Time Warp
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I asked Blaine about his hobbies, and he said, I love time travel. I was intrigued, thinking he had some cool futuristic gadget. Turns out, his time travel method involves wearing mismatched socks and listening to disco. According to Blaine, it's a one-way ticket to the '70s. Who needs a DeLorean when you've got polyester and funky beats?
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