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You know you're in for a wild night when someone introduces themselves as Blaine. It's never like, "Hi, I'm Blaine, and I enjoy long walks on the beach." No, it's more like, "Hey, I'm Blaine, and I once wrestled a bear... and lost.
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I tried to imagine a world without Blaine, but it just felt like a black and white movie. You can't have a vibrant, technicolor life without a dash of Blaine in it.
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You ever notice that every action movie has a character named Blaine? He's the guy who walks away from explosions without looking back. I bet Blaine even microwaves his popcorn with the door open.
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If your friend Blaine ever says, "Hold my drink," just prepare yourself for a story you'll be retelling for years. It's like the prelude to an epic tale that usually involves questionable decisions and a llama. Because why not? Blaine said so.
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Has anyone ever met a boring Blaine? I haven't. It's like they come out of the womb with a list of adventurous hobbies. "Blaine, the only guy who goes bungee jumping on a Monday morning before his coffee.
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I asked Siri to define "Blaine," and she said, "Blaine: a name commonly associated with unexpected shenanigans and spontaneous road trips." Well, played, Siri, well played.
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I was at the grocery store the other day, and I overheard a mom yelling, "Blaine, put that candy back!" I don't know what Blaine had in his hands, but I hope it wasn't broccoli. Poor Blaine, the rebel of the produce aisle.
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You ever notice how there's always that one guy named Blaine at every party? I mean, seriously, is there a secret society of Blaines that only comes out after sunset? "Welcome to the party, it's not official until Blaine shows up!
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I'm convinced that Blaine is the real-life superhero name. Like, in emergencies, people just yell, "Call Blaine!" and he shows up with a cape and a bag of snacks. "Fear not, citizens, Blaine is here!
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