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Have you ever tried to give a billionaire advice on saving money? It's like teaching a fish how to climb a tree. "Why not just skip that third vacation home?" I say. And they're like, "But where else would I put my collection of vintage yo-yos?
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You know you're dealing with a billionaire when their biggest problem is deciding which private jet to take for a weekend getaway. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to decide between window or aisle on a budget airline.
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You ever notice how billionaires always have the most complicated coffee orders? I swear, they walk into a café and it's like a secret code. "I'll have a half-caff, almond milk, double shot, caramel drizzle, but not too hot, latte." Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to decide between a small or medium.
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Billionaires and their philanthropy. It's like they're playing a real-life game of Monopoly, but instead of buying Boardwalk, they're building schools in developing countries. Meanwhile, I'm over here feeling like a champ when I donate my spare change to the local animal shelter.
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Billionaires and their shopping habits, it's like they play a different version of the shopping game. "Hmm, should I buy this small country or that football team?" Meanwhile, I'm just trying to decide if I should splurge on name-brand cereal this week.
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You ever notice how billionaires always have the most bizarre hobbies? "Oh, you collect stamps? That's cute. I just bought a decommissioned missile silo to store my vintage wine." Like, okay Elon, calm down.
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Ever wonder what billionaires dream about? I bet it's not what you think. While we're dreaming of winning the lottery or maybe a beach vacation, they're probably dreaming about... tax loopholes. "Oh, look! A deduction in my dream!
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Billionaires and their yachts, am I right? I mean, it's like a floating mansion on water. I can barely afford a rubber duck for my bathtub, and they're out there, sipping champagne on a vessel the size of a small island.
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