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Ever seen a straw in your bag after a day out? It's like it's auditioning for the Olympic gymnastics team. I mean, I'm just looking for a way to sip my drink, not witness an extreme bending competition. Those straws are bent out of shape like they're training for a medal!
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You ever put a pair of jeans in your drawer, and when you pull them out next time, they're twisted up like a pretzel? I mean, I didn't know denim had an acrobatic side! Those jeans get bent out of shape faster than I do trying to assemble IKEA furniture.
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Anyone else's phone charger look like it's been through a battlefield? I mean, it spends most of its time just lying there, yet somehow it manages to get all bent out of shape, looking like it fought with the cat and lost.
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Have you noticed how wrapping paper has this incredible talent for looking like it got into a wrestling match with a tornado? I mean, all I did was carry it from the store to the car, and suddenly it's more twisted than a soap opera plot.
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Have you ever seen a USB cable after it's been in a bag for a day? It's like it went on a solo trip to a parallel universe and got all bent out of shape about it. I swear, the next time I'll see a cable doing yoga poses.
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I swear, my charging cables have secret lives. They disappear into the bag and come out looking like they tried to compete in a skipping rope contest but lost miserably. Bent out of shape cables - the unsung heroes of the technological world.
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You know what's more flexible than a yoga instructor? My USB drive after spending an hour in my pocket. I mean, I've never seen something get so bent out of shape just by hanging out with loose change and keys.
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You ever notice how your headphones magically transform into a Gordian knot every time you put them in your pocket for two seconds? I mean, I just wanted to listen to some tunes, not practice my ancient knot-untangling skills. Those wires get bent out of shape quicker than I do at a yoga class!
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I don't understand how my earphones manage to tie themselves into a perfect sailor's knot while sitting still in my bag. I take them out, and suddenly it's like they're auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. Bent out of shape doesn't even cover it!
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