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You know, they say, "Just be yourself." But have you ever tried being yourself in a job interview? "Well, I'm usually in my pajamas at this time, but let's pretend I'm a responsible adult for the next half hour.
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Just be yourself" is the advice I got before giving a speech. So, naturally, I started with an interpretive dance number. Because nothing says professionalism like jazz hands, right?
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You ever try being yourself in a gym class full of fitness fanatics? I'm over there doing my best impression of someone who knows what they're doing, but I'm pretty sure my treadmill thinks I'm trying to break a world record for clumsiest jogger.
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Just be yourself" is great advice until you're stuck in an elevator with strangers, and you accidentally start humming your favorite theme song. Now everyone thinks I take the elevator to make grand entrances to imaginary talk shows.
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Just be yourself," they say. Easy for them to say! I tried being myself at a fancy restaurant, and suddenly talking to my food like it's an old friend wasn't so charming. Turns out, the lobster doesn't appreciate a good knock-knock joke.
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You know, they tell you to "just be yourself" in relationships. So, I tried introducing my significant other to the real me – the one who sings badly in the shower and talks to the cat in baby language. Let's just say, candlelit dinners are now accompanied by earplugs.
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They say, "Just be yourself," but I don't remember that being the case during job orientation. I mean, I'd love to see someone walk into HR and say, "Hi, I'm here to be myself. Where's my desk for nap time?
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Just be yourself" is great advice, unless you're at a family reunion. Then it's more like, "Just be the quiet, sane one in the corner. We don't want Aunt Mildred asking you about your love life again.
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You ever notice that when someone tells you to "just be yourself," it's always before a blind date? Like, is there another version of me I should be for this occasion? Maybe I'll bring my action figure collection and really impress them.
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