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Being a new mom is like joining a secret society where the password is "caffeine" and the initiation involves changing a diaper while holding your breath.
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As a new mom, I've mastered the art of ninja diaper changing – stealthily maneuvering through the room like a diaper-changing ninja, hoping not to wake the baby. Because nothing says victory like a silent diaper victory.
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One of the perks of being a new mom is discovering muscles you never knew existed, thanks to the constant baby-carrying workouts. Who needs a gym when you have a 15-pound kettlebell with adorable cheeks?
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As a new mom, your ability to function on minimal sleep becomes a superpower. Forget about Marvel superheroes; we're the real Avengers of the midnight feeding shift.
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You know you're a new mom when your idea of a wild night out involves watching Netflix without interruptions and maybe, just maybe, finishing a cup of hot coffee while it's still hot.
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You know you're a new mom when your Google search history is filled with questions like, "Can babies survive on a diet of just mashed bananas and sleepless nights?
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Being a new mom means becoming an expert in baby language. I can now differentiate between a hunger cry, a tired cry, and a "Hey, I just filled my diaper" cry. It's like having a PhD in baby talk.
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They say it takes a village to raise a child, but as a new mom, I've discovered that sometimes the village is just me, a cup of coffee, and a desperate plea for a nap.
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The laundry basket in my house has become a magical portal that transforms baby clothes into a never-ending cycle of wash, fold, repeat. It's like a laundry-themed Groundhog Day.
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