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Being a mom means having an uncanny ability to find lost toys in the most obscure places. It's like I have a built-in radar that activates the moment someone yells, "Mom, I can't find my favorite action figure!
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Motherhood is like a crash course in time management. You learn to accomplish more in 10 minutes than most people do in an hour, all while humming the theme song to a popular animated show. Because, let's face it, that's the soundtrack of parenthood.
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Moms are basically human alarm clocks. Forget about setting a morning alarm; just place a hungry toddler next to your bed. Their internal breakfast alarm is more effective than any smartphone alert.
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Parenthood is a constant battle between wanting to teach your kids valuable life skills and secretly hoping they never figure out how to use the TV remote. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
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Being a mom is like having a PhD in multitasking. I can change a diaper, answer a work email, and referee a sibling dispute all while singing the ABCs. I should put that on my resume.
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Motherhood is the only job where you can experience both extreme fatigue and extreme joy simultaneously. It's like a roller coaster ride, but with more laundry.
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As a mom, I've realized that my ability to distinguish between "urgent" and "I just don't want to do it" has reached superhero levels. Sorry, kids, but finding your missing sock doesn't qualify as a crisis.
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You know you're a mom when you find yourself negotiating with a toddler like you're brokering a high-stakes international treaty. "Okay, two more bites of broccoli, and then we can talk about extending bedtime negotiations.
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The true test of a mom's negotiation skills is convincing a picky eater that broccoli is actually a delicious and rare treat. Forget diplomacy; this is the real art of persuasion.
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