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Have you ever tried explaining to a non-sports fan why you keep a baseball bat in your car? "Oh, it's not for self-defense. It's for the rare occasion when I find a pinata emergency on the way home.
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I keep a baseball bat by my front door. Not because I'm tough, but because I'm forgetful. "Is that the doorbell or did I just leave my spaghetti boiling again?
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I bought a baseball bat the other day, and the cashier asked me if I wanted it gift-wrapped. I was like, "Yeah, sure, wrap it up like it's a present. Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' like a weapon with a bow on it!
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You know you're an adult when you own a baseball bat, and instead of playing a game, you're using it to reach the top shelf in the kitchen. "Home run in the pantry!
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Getting a new baseball bat feels like upgrading to the latest model of a medieval weapon. "Check out my new 2024 Louisville Slugger - now with enhanced zombie apocalypse defense capabilities!
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They say laughter is the best medicine, but have you ever tried chasing someone with a baseball bat? That's a whole different level of cardio and stress relief!
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The sound of a baseball bat connecting with a ball is so satisfying. It's like nature's way of saying, "Hey, if life throws problems at you, just smack 'em out of the park!
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You ever notice how buying a baseball bat is the only time it's socially acceptable to walk into a store and start swinging? "Just testing it out, I swear! I'm not here to cause mayhem in the sporting goods aisle!
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I read that swinging a baseball bat burns calories. So now, I've convinced myself that my lack of athleticism is just an advanced form of intermittent fasting.
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