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Bald Eagles Anonymous Meeting
Dealing with the embarrassment of being the only bird without head feathers.
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They're all struggling with the stigma. Someone shouted, 'We should start a rumor that bald eagles are the hipsters of the bird world—head feathers are just too mainstream.'
Bald Eagle Barbershop Quartet
Singing about freedom with a lack of harmonious head feathers.
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Our big dream was to perform at the Birdland Jazz Club. We got kicked out before we even sang a note. The bouncer said, 'Sorry, we have a strict feathered dress code.' Tough crowd.
The Bald Eagle's Therapist
Helping a bald eagle cope with its self-esteem issues.
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I tried building up its confidence, saying, 'You're not bald; you're just aerodynamically efficient. You know, less wind resistance during those patriotic flyovers.'
Bald Eagle's Dating Woes
Navigating the dating scene with a lack of head feathers.
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I thought I found 'the one' when a vulture showed interest. I said, 'You know, I'm not really into scavenging.' She replied, 'That's okay; I'm just looking for a bird who can carry the weight of my emotional baggage.'
The Bald Eagle Expert at the Zoo
Trying to explain the majesty of bald eagles to an uninterested audience.
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I thought I was making progress when a kid asked, 'Are bald eagles the ones that deliver the mail?' I said, 'No, kid, but they do deliver freedom—express delivery, with a side of patriotism.'
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