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I tried counting to ten to calm down, but apparently, the recommended count doesn't go up to a hundred. And don't even get me started on deep breathing. I inhaled so deeply once; I'm pretty sure I sucked up all the oxygen in the room. People were turning blue. Not exactly the calming effect I was going for.
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And road rage? That's just a fancy term for "venting in a metal box." My car has become my therapy room on wheels. I've got a horn that can express more emotions than I knew I had. It's like a musical instrument, but instead of notes, it plays various levels of frustration.
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The worst part is the peaceful yoga music. It's like my temper is having a dance-off with tranquility. The instructor kept saying, "Breathe in positivity, breathe out negativity." I did my best, but I think I accidentally exhaled a grocery list and a series of grudges.
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The therapist suggested I try visualization techniques. So now, when I feel anger creeping in, I close my eyes and imagine myself on a serene beach. The only problem is, in my version, even the seagulls are mocking me, and the waves sound like sarcastic laughter. Who knew inner peace could be so elusive?
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