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You ever notice how elevators have that "ascend" button? It's like my daily reminder that I can't just float up to the office. I need a machine to help me achieve my vertical ambitions. I'm not taking the stairs; I'm taking the magical box of elevation.
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Elevators have this mysterious ability to make you forget how to count. You press "ascend" for the 10th floor, and suddenly you're on the 8th, wondering if you missed your stop or accidentally discovered a shortcut to Narnia.
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Elevators are the only place where you'll find a button labeled "ascend," and yet, everyone inside is just staring at the floor numbers, silently praying they're going in the right direction. It's like playing a real-life game of "Am I lost?
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Have you ever been in an elevator with that person who insists on pressing the "ascend" button multiple times, as if the elevator will be like, "Oh, you're in a hurry? Let me just hit the afterburners." Yeah, because that's how physics works.
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They say life is about the journey, not the destination. Well, clearly they haven't been on an elevator. I press "ascend," and suddenly I'm in a metal box with strangers, trying not to make eye contact. It's like a social experiment every time I go up a floor.
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The "ascend" button on an elevator is like a trust fall exercise. You press it, hope for the best, and just pray that the cables and pulleys have their life together. It's the original "trust the process" – elevator edition.
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Ever notice how awkward it is when you and someone else press the "ascend" button at the same time? It's like a silent battle of who can out-polite the other. "No, no, please, after you ascend first.
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I always feel a little guilty when I press the "ascend" button and someone is rushing to catch the elevator. It's like I'm the gatekeeper of vertical transportation, deciding whether they make it to their meeting on time. Sorry, buddy, you're on your own.
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Ascend" is such a majestic word. It makes me feel like I'm embarking on a grand journey every time I step into an elevator. Forget going to work; I'm ascending to conquer the kingdom of cubicles. Watch out, world, here comes the elevator royalty!
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