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What did one apple cider say to another at the party? 'You're the apple of my eye!
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Why did the apple cider go to school? It wanted to be a little brrrrr-ighter!
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Why did the apple cider go to therapy? It couldn't find its core issues!
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I heard the apple cider started its own business. It's pressing for success!
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I told my friend I could make a drink from apples that would rival any soda. He challenged me, but I proved him cider wrong!
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Why did the apple cider break up with the soda? It found the relationship too fizzical!
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Why did the apple cider apply for a job? It wanted to be pressed into service!
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Why did the apple cider join a band? It had great fermentation skills and loved the apple-lause!
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Why did the apple cider break up with the donut? It felt the relationship was getting too glazy!
The Cider Conspiracy
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I read somewhere that apples are one of the dirtiest fruits, pesticide-wise. So basically, when you're sipping on your apple cider, you're participating in a conspiracy against your own immune system. It's like we're all in on this secret plan to keep the doctors in business.
Apple Cider: The Autumn Elixir
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They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well, if that's true, then a mug of apple cider a day must be the elixir of immortality. I'm stocking up on this stuff like it's the key to eternal life. Move over, apples; there's a new health guru in town.
Apple Cider and the Romance Dilemma
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I tried to impress someone once by saying, I make the best apple cider. Turns out, that's not a great pickup line. But hey, if love doesn't work out, at least I can drown my sorrows in a bathtub-sized mug of my homemade cider.
The Forbidden Fruit Punch
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You know, I tried to make my own apple cider at home. I thought, how hard could it be? I got the apples, crushed them, and let them ferment. But apparently, you need more than just apples and good intentions. My cider ended up tasting like a mix of regret and a failed science experiment.
Apple Cider: The Beverage Detective
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I bought a bottle of apple cider recently, and on the label, it said, 100% pure apple juice. I felt like a beverage detective. I was inspecting it like, Alright, Mr. Cider, where were you on the night of the 15th? Any preservatives lurking around? I take my apple juice investigations very seriously.
Apple Cider: The Liquid GPS
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Apple cider has this magical ability to guide you through a grocery store. You can be lost in the maze of aisles, but as soon as you catch a whiff of that sweet, spiced aroma, you know exactly where the seasonal section is. It's like nature's GPS, but with a better sense of smell.
Cider and Social Distancing
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Apple cider is the perfect drink for social distancing. You can enjoy it alone, and it makes you look festive rather than lonely. Just grab a mug, put on a cozy sweater, and people will think you're celebrating fall. Little do they know; you're just avoiding human interaction.
Cider Season: A Pumpkin's Nightmare
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Pumpkins must hate cider season. They spend all year growing and preparing for their big moment, only to be overshadowed by apples in a bubbling pot of spices. It's like the pumpkins are the opening act, and the apples are the headliners stealing the show. Poor pumpkins, always getting squashed by the competition.
Apple Cider: The Workout Replacement
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I've decided to replace my gym routine with lifting gallons of apple cider. It's the perfect workout. Lift, pour, sip, repeat. I call it the cider-cise routine. I'm not saying I'll get six-pack abs, but I'll have the most hydrated laughter muscles in town.
Apple Cider vs. Pumpkin Spice War
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You know it's fall when the apple cider and pumpkin spice lattes start battling for supremacy. It's like a seasonal turf war in the beverage aisle. I'm just waiting for the day I walk into Starbucks and witness a tiny pumpkin and a disgruntled apple having a showdown over who gets to dominate the autumn flavor scene.
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