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You know, I recently got a prescription for anti-depression pills. The pharmacist gave me this tiny little pill and said, "This will make you feel better." I'm like, "Really? Is it happiness in a capsule or just a really small placebo?
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They say laughter is the best medicine, but have they tried anti-depression medication? I mean, it's pretty effective, but the side effect is that you might find yourself laughing at dad jokes on a whole new level.
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Anti-depression medication should come with a warning label: "May cause drowsiness, decreased libido, and the sudden urge to organize your sock drawer at 3 AM.
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I was reading the side effects of my anti-depression medication, and it said, "May cause vivid dreams." Well, let me tell you, I had a dream last night where I was at a therapy session with my pet goldfish. Even in my dreams, my therapist is a flounder!
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I was at the pharmacy picking up my anti-depression meds, and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions. I said, "Yeah, can you prescribe something for my existential dread, or is that a different aisle?
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I was talking to my therapist about my anti-depression meds, and she asked if they were helping. I said, "Well, they make me care a little less about the mess in my apartment, so I guess you could say they're doing their job.
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The other day, I was trying to open my anti-depression pill bottle, and it had that childproof cap. I'm standing there, struggling, thinking, "If I can't even open this bottle, how am I supposed to open up emotionally in therapy?
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You ever notice how the commercials for anti-depression medication always show people happily strolling through fields or flying kites? I tried that once. Took my pills, went to the park, and ended up getting my kite stuck in a tree. Now I'm depressed and down one kite.
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Anti-depression medication has these warnings like, "May cause blurred vision." Well, that explains why I mistook my cat for a hat the other day. Turns out my antidepressant turned my living room into an art gallery of optical illusions.
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I read that some anti-depression medications can cause weight gain. So now, not only am I battling depression, but I'm also in a constant struggle with my jeans. It's like, "Come on, medication, can't you at least make me lose weight in a fun way, like tap dancing or something?
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