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Have you ever tried reading an ancient text? It's like deciphering a secret code. I bought a recipe book from the 1800s, and the instructions were like, "Add a smidgen of this, a dollop of that, and if the spirits are pleased, you'll have a delicious pie.
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Ancient philosophers had all these deep thoughts about existence. Meanwhile, I'm over here contemplating the meaning of life while waiting in line at the grocery store. "Do I really need that extra pack of gum? Is that my purpose?
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Ancient wisdom says patience is a virtue. But have you ever tried waiting for a microwave to finish for 60 seconds? Time slows down, and you start questioning all your life choices.
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Ever notice how ancient civilizations had complex mythologies with gods for everything? Meanwhile, we struggle to remember the names of our coworkers. "Is it Steve or Stan? I'll just go with 'Hey, buddy!'
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You know you're getting old when your favorite childhood toys are considered ancient artifacts. I showed my niece my old Game Boy, and she looked at it like it was an alien technology. "Uncle, where's the touch screen?
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You ever notice how ancient things are always portrayed as mysterious and wise? Like, if my smartphone from five years ago could talk, it would probably just say, "Remember to update your apps, and maybe consider deleting some old photos, Karen.
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The concept of an ancient curse is perplexing. Like, if curses were real, my computer would be haunting me right now for all the times I've yelled at it. "May your Wi-Fi always be weak, and your updates never end!
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Ancient ruins are fascinating. We look at a crumbling structure and go, "Wow, the history!" But if my neighbor's fence is falling apart, we're just like, "Dave, fix that thing before your dog invades my yard again!
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Ancient fashion trends were wild. I mean, who decided that powdered wigs and corsets were a good idea? If I wore that today, people would think I've time-traveled from a bizarre costume party.
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