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I heard this fantastic ancient Chinese proverb: "The palest ink is better than the best memory." And I thought, wow, that's deep. But then I realized, in today's world, we've upgraded from ink and paper to the digital age. So now it's more like, "The strongest Wi-Fi is better than the best memory." I mean, who needs a good memory when you have Google? Back in the day, you had to rely on your brain to remember things. Now, my memory is so bad; I have to Google what I had for breakfast. I'm pretty sure I had cereal, but let me double-check.
It's like we're living in the era of digital enlightenment. If Buddha were around today, he'd be sitting under the Bodhi Tree with a laptop, achieving Nirvana one Wikipedia page at a time.
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You know, someone once told me there's an ancient Chinese proverb that says, "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot." And I thought, well, that's some profound wisdom right there. But then I started thinking, how did these ancient Chinese philosophers come up with these sayings? Were they just sitting around, trying to be deep, and someone walked in on them doing something weird? I can imagine an ancient philosopher standing on a precarious toilet, and his friend walks in like, "What are you doing?" And he just responds with this profound proverb like it's the most normal thing in the world. Now I'm wondering if I've been missing out on life-changing revelations every time I use the bathroom. Maybe I should start contemplating my existence on the toilet, you know, for the sake of personal growth.
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You ever get one of those fortune cookies with a profound message inside? I got one that said, "He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever." I thought, "Okay, fortune cookie, slow down with the wisdom bombs." But then I started thinking, what if we applied this to everyday life? Like at a job interview, you sit there for five minutes, then blurt out, "So, do I get the job?" According to the fortune cookie, that's just being wise for a short time.
But imagine not asking any questions and remaining a fool forever. That's basically how I feel when I assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions. It's like, "I'm a fool forever because I thought I could figure this out without asking for help."
Maybe we should start handing out fortune cookies in important life situations. Divorce court, tax audits, family reunions – just hand them out and let the wisdom flow.
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I recently came across another ancient Chinese proverb: "Man who stands on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop." Now, I don't know about you, but that's some questionable advice right there. Are we supposed to believe that ducks just fall from the sky like they're delivered by a celestial food service? I'm picturing this poor guy standing on a hill, mouth wide open, waiting for a roast duck to plummet into his mouth. And meanwhile, the ducks are up there like, "What is wrong with this guy?" It's like Confucius was pranking people from beyond the grave.
I'm half tempted to try this just to see if it works. You know, go to a hill, open my mouth, and hope for the best. Worst case scenario, I end up with a sore neck and a strange story to tell.
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